Gettin' Pumped For The SMRS Season!

Hope y'all had a nice and squishy-sweet Valentines Day/Daytona 500 yesterday. If today -- being Monday -- ain't the opposite of yesterday then I don't know what in the hell is.

Saturday found us Attapulgus gangstas seat-deep in the local mud. Steve brought along his yankee-girl Renee, who was kind enough to enlighten us about the similarities between ATVin' and snowmobilin'.  Havin' done plenty of snowmobilin' myself in a past life, I have to say that the main similarities are the sound of those motors and the taste of that beer.  The main differences -- my ass never recalls snowmobilin' underwater or having to chop the heads off a swarm of water moccasins with a machete.

But I digress.  This weekend is big fun in Doles, GA.  That's 'cause the Southern Mud Racing Series is kicking off its 2010 race season at Creekbottom ATV Park, and our Attapulgus gang will be flyin' colors at the event.  Not sure who or what we're gonna race just yet, but being there is half the battle -- we'll worry about the rest of it when we get there.  Gonna need some damned helmets because, unfortunately, lawyers have had something to say to somebody.  We'll try to obey the rules just out of our general sense of graciously accepting hospitality, but there's likely to be trouble at some point.  We'll keep you posted.

Attapulgus Gang Featured at AmericanTowns.com

That's right, folks -- when it comes to big livin' in small towns, there's none better than AmericanTowns.com to bring all the people together in the tradition of fellowship and hell-raisin' that's made this country great. The Attapulgus Gang is pleased to announce that our contributions to our community have not gone unnoticed. In January, The Attapulgus Gang was recognized and immortalized by American Towns, and we think this is only the beginning.

When the Attapulgus Gang blog was selected to be regularly featured by American Towns based on our outstanding cultural significance to Attapulgus, GA, we here at the clubhouse could not have been more proud! While we are normally very humble about our position of preeminence in the Southeastern recreational 4-wheeling community, and also very humble about our extreme recreational vehicle skills when compared to those currently seen on television, we all took this recognition by American Towns very seriously, and naturally we decided to celebrate.

And we will continue to celebrate! There will be whiskey and there will be beer. There will be wine, women, and song. There will be every kind of food imaginable and every intoxicating concoction known to man and God. And when it's all done -- when our bellies are full and our heads are buzzin' -- there will be hayrides of dubious intent down dirt roads of questionable destination.

And the moon will be full.

Attapulgite: Our Mud's So Powerful You Buy It When You Can't Hold Your Own Mud

It's time to talk about mud cred. Here in Attapulgus, our mud is so fine that they mine it, pack it up, and sell it for consumption. There ain't man, woman, nor child alive who hasn't swallowed some of our mud -- and paid for the privilege.

Attapulgite is the stuff they put in medicine to bind your ass up. When your mama came at you with a spoonful of Kaopectate because you couldn't hold your mud, she was feeding you ours -- and it did ya good. This clay mud is thicker, more absorbent, and slicker than any mud on Earth. It will climb up out of holes and grab your ass forever if you let it.

It takes a special breed to bog the Attapulgus. You've gotta be a tough SOB and you've gotta stay alert. You've gotta catch it when it infiltrates your machinery and always be ready to fix your shit. When the Attapulgus Gang takes it on the road and rides your local mud, it's like a cruise down the interstate to us -- just as easy as pecan pie. That's why, when you see us coming to your town, you lock up your women and run your bikes up to higher ground.

Attapulgite. This mud is in our pores and in our souls. We walk on it, bog in it, hunt on it. We barbecue in it, drink beer on it, and piss on it. Just remember that the next time you can't hold your own mud, and you pay to swallow some of ours -- it makes us proud to know that y'all got a little bit of Attapulgus Gang in every one of ya.

Don't Lose The Damned Beer!

This might look easy, but it's even easier to pop a wheelie and dump the cooler....trust me on this one.

Don't Be Dissin' A Man's Shit

Just some random enjoyable conversatin' and fellowship along the trail -- heartwarming, really...

Gator Huntin' In The Whigham Beaver Pond

Just a truckin' through the swamp like swamp truckers do....

Riding on Mars

Travis decided to scale the walls of this Martian crater -- didn't work but at least he gave it a shot before he threw Kristin's bike on its side -- it needed to lose its virginity anyway, and since it's a Polaris it can take it.