Thursday, October 14, 2010

Breast Awareness

Like most everyone in America this month, we of the Attapulgus Gang believe it is important to do our part, however humble, to spread awareness of breast health here in October.

We do not like to say Breast C-Word Awareness Month, but rather Breast Awareness Month, because we think it is important to celebrate all breasts at all times, while beginning to make the C-word a thing of the past.

One of of our own became aware of the C-Word in her own breast at the beginning of Breast C-Word Awareness month two years ago, so we of the Attapulgus Gang are well aware of the insidious nature of the enemy of breasts, and the toll it takes on the lives of those who go through the treatment, never mind those that succumb to it.  We treat that enemy about like we treat the snakes in the last post -- we wipe it out.

And so, please, be aware of the breasts around you, be aware of your own breasts, have those puppies smooshed once a year no matter how much of a "pain" -- better that than the pain that comes from waiting too long to check, ladies.  Those of us who have not breasts of our own will certainly do our part to remain aware of those breasts around us at all times.... vigilance is a good thing.  We should ALL be united as one to SAVE THE TA TA's!

And now a very brief public service announcement from the Attapulgus Gang on behalf of Breast Awareness Month.

                           

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Snake Season


Sorry, animal-lovers.  Y'all ain't gonna like this.

Walking down the trail between Attapulgus and Havana with my dog Tinker last week, I came about 3 feet from stepping straight on this diamondback and I was not amused.  

No warning.  

No rattle.  

Just a pair of sinister eyes and an ambush that almost succeeded in ruining the day for Tinker and I.  Tinker's already survived one rattle snake bite, and ever since we've decided to cut these things zero slack.

Too bad for the snake.  He was disguised well.  He almost won.  

One straight shot from my 12 gauge, though, and the trail was cleared of bad company.  He had 9 rattles.  A few assorted mammals out there in Booger Bay are now thanking me.

Yesterday at Whigham though, there was more proof that snake season is still with us.  JR was leading through what's left of the Beaver Pond, about 2 feet deep of water surrounded by deep grass.

All of a sudden, a genuine big-ass water moccasin is facing him down and heading in the wrong direction -- straight at the Attapulgus Gang.

We discussed various options for dealing with the obstreperous reptile, from contacting PETA to writing the EPA for permission to do a study on the feasibility of hiring the snake for oil spill cleanup.  Next thing we know, the damned thing is crawling up the inside of JR's front wheelwell -- and it disappears up inside his Polaris WHILE he is on it!  

Not cool.

All politically correct alternatives for dealing with this creature were scrapped.  As you can see from this video, the snake, like all who would thwart the Attapulgus Gang, was not the victor.

RIP, snakes.